Thursday, January 19, 2012

Things Change

I think it’s fairly idiotic to suppose a change in the calendar year could possibly alter a person’s entire outlook on life; but I gotta say, since 2012 started twenty days ago, I feel like the glacial wall surrounding my heart has come crashing down in an abrupt “we-should-all-be-freaking-out-about-this-metaphorical-global-warming-because-the-seas-are-rising” kind of way. (Does that metaphor even make any sense?)

To put it in more understandable terms: I feel a lot better about life these days, and sometimes, I cry a little about it.

What’s different?

Have I suddenly met “The One” (AKA “The Eternal Sucker”)?


Have I gotten into grad school? Landed a better job? Decided to join the Peace Corps?

No. No. And I’m thinking it over (Though, probably not. Can you imagine a $7,000 a year paycheck? Or living on nothing but beans and rice for two years? I know people do it for missions, but there’s a reason I never went on one of those, people).

I can only say this much: There is a reason for it all.

What is that reason?

I haven’t the foggiest. But here’s something I do know. In the last month I’ve found hope in unexpected places: new friendships, stronger connections in old ones, and reasons to keep believing that my life isn’t such a waste. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I have a sneaking suspicion somebody else does.

Am I no longer lonely? Frustrated? Restless? Confused? No. I’m still all of those things, but I’ve discovered an indescribably precious truth: Things Change.

P.S. To the person responsible for a story about an elephant named Georgina and a leopard named Leopard: Until the day I die, I will never be able to express how much our adventure meant to me. It made me remember possibilities are only limited by the mind.

(Winter Shots)


Sarah said...

That's AWESOME Becky!
I like you and your pretty shots. :)

Kira said...

Wow. Those photos are beautiful. I think your metaphor is quite fitting. Bring on the seas.

Sara Lyn said...

Goooooorgeous pictures! How about you become a photographer and make bank on your gorgeous pictures? :)

I think sometimes a concrete boundary (if you can call the change of a year concrete) helps our mind accept change a little better. I felt great hope at the beginning of this year.

So happy for you that things are feeling better even if your situation is still similar! Love you!

Fran said...

Have you ever thought of publishing your photos so they may be sold??? or published with a piece of your prose-poetry to the church competition??? Girl, you have talent. Love you. Glad to hear that the wall is slowing crumbling and that light and air are getting in.