It’s been awhile.
There are various items I wish to discuss today. Mostly, they’re unrelated; but I feel compelled to address them, because they are presently significant topics of personal interest and preoccupation. Besides, I rarely see or speak to any of you as often as I should, so I think it’s about time I play catch up.
First, I have returned from my third consecutive annual Canadian Wilderness trip. I think my older sister may be right when she suggested I stop going up there: It only depresses me.
I should explicate.
Currently, my life is focused on a plethora of worrisome pursuits:
1. Preparations for post grad programs (i.e. studying for the GRE, taking Spanish, weighing my options on where to apply)
2. A job that is wildly underwhelming
3. My solitary life (I live for no one but me and that is utterly depressing some days.)
4. Anxiety and insecurities based on performance in these areas and concern over what that implies about my future
Ultimately, when I’m in Canada, none of these variables exist.
A Typical Day in the Canadian Wilderness:
1. Get up next to a platonic, though well-loved, bedfellow
2. Go to the kitchen, get a glass of mint tea, and receive a hug and a kiss from a grandfather figure
3. Head out to the day’s tasks with a team that is well-organized, efficient, and sincerely aware, encouraging, and appreciative of all members’ contributions to the day’s workload
4. Return at the conclusion of a long, though satisfying, day of work to a stack of tangible results
5. Spend the evening conversing with interesting and enjoyable friends
6. At night, look up at the stars that are a clear as city lights, and discuss the mysteries of the universe with a best friend
7. Go to bed feeling completely satisfied
Real life rarely works this way.
I guess I'd have to admit if I lived in Canada permanently, it wouldn’t take me long to get bored, miss my books and my family, and ultimately, I’d want to come home. But I think you understand why it sucks so bad to have to come back.
The second subject I need to discuss is sad but brief. Monday night, my cute, but ailing hairless rat, Charlie, had to be put down, due to an eye infection that had gotten out of control. His eye was bulging, and he looked like he was in a lot of pain. So I decided that it was cruel to keep him alive. After I “did the deed,” I felt tremendously sorry for Charlie and myself. RIP Charlie.
Next, I wish to officially announce my retirement from club Frisbee. I’m sorry that it’s come to this, but I think my last post really nailed one of my biggest weaknesses: I tend to think I can do everything. This is a marvelous fallacy, and I can no longer afford to indulge it. Besides, as per usual, I’m B-R-O-K-E.
Lastly, and on a less dour note, is anyone else excited about Halloween? I have one title for you: Addams Family Values. Check it out. You will pee your pants.